Today has been quite the rollercoaster. Ajane' & I have been housesitting for my aunt & uncle in SA. We had a great 4 days of playing in the pool, being entertained by the crazy dog, & watching cable. We had a blast while getting a little sun in the process. UP 1
On the way home this evening, I got a call about the travel trailer that I have for sale. The gentleman sounded very interested & we made arrangements to meet up in 30 min to show it. We stood & chatted for 10 minutes. The couple as just a delight. UP 2
Driving away from the trailer the text message goes off. It is Justin (former husband). He states & I quote "how are we goin to get her here & back on the 10 & 24." Translated that means "how are we going to make arrangements for AJ to get to NM on the 10th of August & back on the 24th?" AJ has already decided not to go to NM again this summer. So AJ replies that she will call him as soon as we get home. OK, everything is still good.
AJ places that phone call & proceeds to tell Justin her decision. He gets mad & says he does not believe that & that she can do whatever.....CLICK. He hangs up on her. I being the MOMMA call back & ask what is going on, what was said by both (like I don't already know..duh, I am the momma). He proceeds to inform me that AJ is lying & that he does not believe her & that his entire family has stuff planned for her when she comes back. He goes on & on, getting madder (real word) by the minute....CLICK.
I guess my whole reason for spilling this is that I just do not know how to handle this. Jackie says I am passive aggressive. I just don't want to be caught up in the madness anymore. I am done being the bad guy for decisions that are made by Justin. He choose to get involved with another woman.....I will always love him. He choose to leave the marriage......I filled the papers. He choose to move in with another woman......I put 562 miles between us. I left town with everything I owned in a U-Haul trailer because my heart had been through a cheese grater.
What do I do? How do I stand up for what is right for AJ & be non-confrontational about dealing with this? I just caught my breath, just put it all to rest, just closed the door, & now I have to reopen the vault. WOW, I am so overwhelmed.
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2 comments:
AGGRESSIVE GOOD, is that what the book says? how can you do good for someone like that? I mean, i know we have it in us, but what is it that a person like that will be satisfied with? I know we have discussed this before, but don't you hesitate to call me for any reason if and when you need something, someone or just to talk! I love you girls very much and couldn't be more excited about you being part of our family! I'm am so glad to share my mamma bird with you anytime:)
Kara - just found your blog, thanks to Jenn!! Sounds to me like you handled the phone/visit situation just right, and Justin threw a fit because you didn't bow down and play it his way. Don't know him at all, but I know you are motivated by a mother's love and instincts, and those rarely, if ever, fail us. Plant you feet and stick to your guns about what matters. Let him think he wins the little stuff every now and then. You can rest easily.
Love you!
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